I’m so, SO excited to share this with you today! Here it goes: I got to meet Cheryl Richardson! 
!!
I’ve shared about Cheryl Richardson and her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care many times here before on the blog because Cheryl is one of my greatest life inspirations. In case you’re not familiar with Cheryl Richardson, she’s an author, speaker, and life coach and her books have been a lifeline for me since I first discovered her work while in grad school. In fact, Cheryl was one of the reasons why I decided to become a coach in the first place.
Cheryl Richardson was one of the featured speakers at this year’s Hay House I Can Do It! Conference. Although I wasn’t able to attend the entire weekend event, I was able to go to her full-day workshop called Self-Care Boot Camp.
Here’s what I learned…
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In a nutshell, Cheryl’s message boiled down to this: in order to feel alive, we first have to create safety and connectedness in our life.
Cheryl’s talk made me think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but it makes absolute sense that we can’t focus on feeling alive if we’re worried about basic security and don’t have a support system in place.
#1: Safety
Cheryl shared a few examples from her “safety” list:
- Financial health
- Being truthful about relationships that are working and not working
- Home – creating a safe place for everyone who lives there
She then spent the first half of the day doing a few live coaching sessions related to safety – particularly around the idea of financial health. I’m always intrigued by people’s relationship to money and I think this is one of the most challenging relationships I have in my life. As someone who spent a good part of their career working in the nonprofit sector, this definitely shaped the relationship I have with money and my frequent “scarcity” mentality.
In Cheryl’s live coaching session, she was working with an individual who was struggling with the idea of financial abundance and one of the things she said that stood out to me is that “in order to be a good steward for abundance, you have to prove to the wise part of your brain that you can handle the wealth you have.” I really loved this because I think money is such an important piece of our lives and it’s important to use our money wisely. After all, money is a foundational piece in our lives that impacts our health, well-being, and how we practice self-care. If we don’t have this safety piece in order, it’s really hard to think about anything else.
#2: Relationships
As a natural introvert and Type-A overachiever, I find it really, really hard to ask for help. One of my biggest challenges is to reach out when I need support because that is when I want to turn inward the most. However, I loved hearing Cheryl talk about the importance of relationships because it’s such a great reminder that we simply can’t go through life alone. And, life wouldn’t be as enjoyable if we did.
I’m a natural giver so one of my struggles in relationships is that I tend to put myself in the caretaker role and continue giving, giving, and giving — without taking care of myself first. Over the years and with lots of great practice I’ve gotten much better at this, but it still feels much more natural for me to GIVE rather than RECEIVE. And when I do finally let someone else take care of me or I focus on making my self-care a priority, I feel GUILTY. Can you relate?
One piece of wisdom that Cheryl shared was that for people who struggle with practicing self-care, as we begin to practice it we will all feel guilty and we have to learn to manage the anxiety that comes up when we disappoint, anger, or hurt other people. Because these patterns of taking care of others instead of ourselves are so deeply rooted in our lives, as we shift the focus to practicing self care, we will have to deal with letting other people down. Instead of trying to eliminate the guilt, we have to learn to live with it. If at the end of the day we want to lead a life that feels authentic, alive, and makes a difference for others, we have to start by taking care of ourselves first.
#3: Aliveness
In order to feel alive, we have to listen to that voice inside of us. For myself, I know that aliveness looks like a few things:
- A career driven by passion, inspiration, and creativity
- Being fueled by creative projects like writing more books and teaching more classes
- Creating a body that feels strong, alive, feminine, and positive
- Creating a home that feels safe, soulful, beautiful, and full of love
- Doing yoga and practicing daily gratitude
- Creating space in my life for rest and peace
What aliveness is calling to you?
This was my first time attending one of Hay House’s events, but I absolutely loved it and I’m so grateful I had the opportunity to go. The I Can Do It! Conference is coming to a few other cities this year so if you have the opportunity to go, I would highly recommend it! (You can find out more details here.)
Take care,
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